When You Want to Shut the World Out to Avoid Hurt

March 13, 2024

When you get hurt the natural reaction is to pull into a shell, build up giant walls around yourself and say, “I’m never going to let another person hurt me again. That was too painful.” When, in fact, isolation keeps us stuck in the pain. Healing doesn't happen when you isolate yourself from the world. 

But, isolation can be a dangerous way to cope with pain. Isolation takes away your perspective. In isolation you can’t see that God loves you, and you can’t feel the love of others. 

Sure, there’s a way to live without pain – have no love in your life. But, we can’t let the potential pain of losing someone keep us from reaching out and developing relationships. We can’t allow the fear of rejection to keep us loving people. 

The pain that comes from deep love makes your love even more fruitful. When you lose somebody you love, whether they move away, they die, or they reject you, it’s heartbreaking. So, it can be tempting to not let yourself “go there” and keep it superficial with your relationships. But, I encourage you, don’t build that wall around yourself. You’ve got to keep on loving, even if loving people may invite pain into your life at some point. 

So, what do you do when somebody rejects your love? You redirect it, because there are a lot of people in the world who need your love. If you’ve always wanted to have children and you’ve been unable to have children, what do you do with that love? Just be bitter about it? No. There are a hundred thirty-seven million orphans in the world who would love to be adopted. You redirect your love.

If somebody turns you off, rejects you, shuts you down, what do you do? There are plenty of people who need your love. You redirect it. You keep on loving in your pain. You look at what you’ve got left not just what you’ve lost. 

Jesus knows what it’s like to love in the middle of pain. It’s called the cross. Jesus knows what it’s like to keep on loving when you don’t feel like loving. Jesus knows what it’s like to keep on loving when you feel like your love is being rejected. He keeps on loving. 

Don’t let pain discourage you from loving the people God put in your life. 

Don’t let the comfort of isolation keep you from reaching out and being real and vulnerable with people. 

Don’t just pull the covers over your head and shut the door on love. 

Love God. Love people. No matter what. Love is worth it.